DEMONETISED!

INTRODUCING THE OPENING SCENE OF 

"DEMONETISED - THE HANDBOOK OF INDIAN POLITICS"

by ABD       



 8^th Nov, 2016, 8:05:00 pm, Ghandhi Mansion, Congrace-Nagar, New Delhi

Glued to the television set, watching the latest Doraemon episode, young Rahul was reluctant to part with the television remote. He’d been cackling and chortling, with delight writhing, his boxer shorts wearing, seized with splits of laughter at Doraemon’s antics when his mother had entered the room, snatched from him the TV remote and tuned in to Aaj Tak. The PM was addressing the nation. Upset and in distress lurched, Rahul thrusted into his mouth his thumb and continued with sucking at it punctuated by the PM, Mr. Modi’s voice, from the television set echoing.

“Mere priye bhaiyo aur beheno, aaj ratri baraah baje se, 500 aur 1000 rupaiye ki mudrayein legal nahi rahengi!”

“Mummy,” said young Rahul, “When are you buying me my new playstation?”

“F##k you son!” Said Soneeya, the mother, “Don’t you see we’ve been raped? We just became the poorest family in India. All our ancestral black money, it accounts for nothing now. Nothing at all,” she shrieked, “All those scams we masterminded, they count for nothing! All the money we made from our Panch-Tatva* scams, The AntrixDevas Gagan (sky) scam, the defence land Kchit (earth) scams; the pavak (fire) coal scam; the Sameera (air) 2G scam as also the offshore mining Ganga and Jamuna offshore mining Jal (water) scam. We are so fu###ed!”

“I thought Sharad Power uncle from NCPee may have turned the poorest Maa.”

“Shut up Rahul. This is no time to draw comparisons. We're all raped. This is a gang-rape!” Rebuked the mother, tears trickling down her face, thick and steady.

“Maa,” whispered Rahul, hoping to console his mother and give her hope that all was not lost, “Don’t worry,” He said, “You can take to dancing in bars again. That way we’d soon be rich again.”

“I don’t have it in me any longer son,” replied the mother, surveying her wrinkled physique and worn out bodily assets as she spoke, “Look at me. I have aged. Who do you think may want to hurl money at an old woman strip-teasing in a bar? Your father’s also no more.” She lamented, “There was a time once, when he’d shower me with RBI cheques when I’d shake him my booty. All being cheques from the government’s treasury.”

Donning a grave and thoughtful expression, an expression defying his adolescent brains, brains malnourished and under-developed, Rahul cited, “Maa, do you think Sardar-ji may be of any help? He was once the finance minister after all, before he took to becoming our personal finances-manager. What do you think?”

“How many times have I asked you to not call him by that name. Don’t you get it, he’s Sardar-ji for me, but for you and your sister, he’s Papa-ji. In wake of your father’s demise, he’s been to you and your sister, in every way possible, a stand-in father, just as he was a stand-in PM.”

“Sorry Maa,” said Rahul, pulling a long face.

“Anyways, I’d just ask Mannu to come over?”

8:10:00 pm

“Hello Maydum,” came in the whimpering reply...

8^th Nov, 2016 11:00 pm - Three hours from the PM's announcement, Soneeya's mansion was swarming with the who's who of Indian Politics...Keep Reading, keep keep laughing! 

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